Hmm I wished I blogged more these days. There's so much to share and so much happening I can't quite keep up with everything. Sometimes I feel that the news should be written in a diary instead of shared with the whole world but at the same time I know the people who read my blog are the ones who honestly and truly care about me the most. I haven't written a decent blog post in a really long time and after rereading some of the things I wrote in the past, I can see how I've grown a lot! It's really amazing how people change and how relationships between people grow and such.
I can't believe I'm leaving for college in a month. The summer just pasted by just like that and no matter how curious and excited I am about college, everytime I think about it I also want to freeze time and remain forever 18. Stuck in a time where I know who my best friends are and having the time of life with people I love and making special memories with the ones whpo are extremely important to me. As much as I would love to stay in this time frame I am also aware of the multitude of hanges that would occur in college and therefore I look forward to all the new experiences and possibilities. I am already antipatiing some heartbreaks and situations that I will not like but it's all part of growing up isn't it.
Like for instance, I'm learning how to drive now...kind of scary I know. I still remember when I was just learning how to ride a bike and how fearful I was of it. Now I'm driving...I'm just glad that I'm still alive after training with my cousin
:D And then there's my boyfriend. A great guy but its obvious that it won't going anywhere. I just absolutely hate the fact that when its all over, the friendship tends to be different somehow like I can't witness to him anymore than I can now no matter how hard I try. To say that I will never get married is a big deal but now that I'm thinking about the future so much the question does pop up in my mind. What do I do after years of school and I get a job...I want a family I want to be able to take my kids to school and play dress up with them but that seems so far into the future and after thinking about it so much I finally realize that its not what I want that its important It's really what God wants for me. Im anxious about the future and just this past sunday we had a lesson about anxiety and it's something that I'm still learning.
This summer has been wonderful. I've gone through ups and downs that i haven't touched in a while and through these times I've realized who my frinds are and how much I am going to miss them. To be honest sometimes I doubt myself and the school that I'm attending in the fall...I just hear from too many people suhc negative thoughts about the school I get frustrated everytime. I don't know if its right anymore I cant seem to understand what God wants me to do. I know there will many many temptations and I'm scared I will fail at these trials...I don't know...growing up is so hard sometimes.