Yes this is one of those I hate life posts. where everything seems to be falling apart because of wrong words and wrong attitudes and mistakes made and the feeling that I've done something wrong but forgiveness is far from reach. Yes this is one of those posts where I complain and feel bad about myself for all the things that I've done wrong and yet have no way of making things right only because I can't. Yes this is a post where I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm just confused about what I am suppose to do.
Do I have a hard time trusting people....yes I do and why, its more of just a personal issue and bad experiences. Can I say that I'm surrounding by loving people 24/7 no I cannot say that because I do not truly believe that I do and unfortunately the truth is that I don't. Do I go around telling others of my problems....no most of the time I keep them to myself and I guess that is a reason for my loneliness but I suppose that is okay since I don't fully trust everyone around me except a few that I deem to be my friends. Sometimes I really hate myself and the things that I do but growing people have taught me to act a certain way and sometimes that has worked against me...though I wish it didn't.
I really don't know what I'm doing anymore....