Well it's Tuesday and the first day back at school after winter break. Time to reflect. Well in a way it's kind of good to be back at school even though all I do is work and more work and well work. But that's okay I guess for now, it's what I should be focused on, it's my job. However, winter break wasn't exactly fun, too much going on, especially the amounts of homework that I did not want to do. The new year rolled in like an unexpected rainstorm. I didn't feel any different after the clock stroke twelve, maybe I'm just weird as my friend Gordon says but honestly I'm suppose to feel grown up, I'll be turning 17 year old this year. 17...That's getting old...and to be honest I am scared...Looking at colleges and finding out about undergraduate and graduate schools, it's a little too much all while trying to handle the current bundles of homework and juggling school activities along with all the SATs and ACTs that must be completed before the school year ends.

I guess that's just high school. Somehow we all live through it and we all get through. There's no way of avoiding it, no matter how big the load, it must be done. Luckily I have friends who support and encourage me all the way through but most importantly I have God in my life and though in the past month of two I haven't been honest with Him or even letting him into my life, I feel that I owe my life to Him in every way possible. It was very easy not going to church and spending Sundays staying at home and doing homework but in the back of my mind, I have made a commitment that cannot be broken no matter what. The feeling of disappointment in my from not attending church was nonexistent at first but it did come back, and it came back when I least expected it to, when I felt that everyone had given up on me and when I had given up on myself and of any hope left. I suppose God didn't want to give up on me just yet and I'm grateful for the second chance that I've recieved but I just have to ask what if...what if I never went back...what if I just completely fell out of the circuit for God...What would've happened to me?

Okay that was a long and deep post but it's something I haven't done in a while. It's totally not about me, everything is about God, everything I do reflects him, all the time I spend doing homework, and the moments dedicated to worshipping Him, ot's pure love and although it's not physical, it's enough. Just thinking about my personal relationships with people this year makes me wonder hard about God's plans for me, why so many of them have failed and yet everytime I have learned something, something about temptation and something about love itself but mostly it revealed to me who God really was and what he was trying to teach me.

Okay time to go back to homework... : )