I wish you could be as happy with me as you are with your friends......

Okay.....things have been okay for a while now....I've figured out my classes for next year already and I'm pretty content with them. I'll be taking: Geometry 1, Chemistry 1, Swimming, 10th grade English, Health ED, Intermediate Dance, and Italian 1. I'm pretty excited about Italian and Intermediate Dance but I know that it's going to be really busy for me. My summer is half planned. I wanted to do certain things with people but turns out they have other things to do so I haven't talked to them about it yet but I doubt that I will.....Why? Well I don't really want to interfere with whatever they've got planned and it might be better than spending time with me so.....It's okay I guess. I had high hopes for this summer....Thought it was going to be great but turns out it might be just like last summer. I had nothing to do before daycamp and after that I had retreat which was wonderful but I had expected on filling up my summer with great memories before the school year started or in this case before the next school year ends. This year went by pretty fast and next year....Well next year I don't really want it to go by too fast. There are people who I want to spend time with before they go.....I don't even know where they might go but it's far away then who knows I may loose contact with them....and I really don't want that to happen. I'm just really sad right now......nothing is ever as it seems. I guess that's the way life is but then again I've always got God on my side and He's always making things better no matter what. I look forward to seeing what He does give me instead of what I want. It opens my eyes to see that I'm not in control of my life and that God is. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. In school also....I don't know if I'm just so tired and weak right now or if I'm just giving up but things have been so so for me....I don't really want to think about it but just pray about it.

Currently in my Modern World class we're watching the movie To Live

which is really good right now although the story line is really sad. I'm reading the book on my own:
just so I can get the full story and there's more stuff that happens in the book than in the movie so I like the book a bit better right now although I have a project due for this movie and I have to do it based on the events that occurred in the movie so hopefully I won't confuse the events from the book with the events of the movie.
Anyways I finished my biology homework at school today and things have been okay recently I guess I really don't know......But everything has definitely slowed down. I can enjoy my free time a tiny bit more now. I went to the mechanics library yesterday to pick up To Live and it was just great, I missed being there because of the great atmosphere it provides and the quietness. Unfortunately yesterday I didn't have my Biology book so as soon as I found my book I just left because I has nothing else to do. In dance class we're watching the performance of Friday night which was opening night for us. hmm.....I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in myself for that night. It wasn't great and I was just really sad. I was actually crying and one of the advance dancers really comforted me although I felt bad for a little incident she had. Anyways the past is the past and I should no dwell on it but it still bothers me that it happened because it shouldn't have. Finals are coming up and so is summer....I really want to have stuff to do since my original plans are going down the drain....not good. I was thinking of doing volunteer work at the Friends of the San Francisco Public Library which is the Book Bay at Fort Mason. Also I'm thinking about trying out for Dance Company on the last tuesday on the last week of school. I dont really care about making it in the class I just really want to experience it and just learn something new. But yeah I haven't decided...so maybe not...I'll see. So yeah that's about it for now.
Bye Bye

Hmm I haven't written in here for a while, but things are dying down a bit for the weekend although they will all start over once tomorrow comes. I'm just really tired and I didn't get to do something I really wanted to today..... : ( I was looking forward to it too.....anyways my concert was okay I messed up a lot though because people always speed up or it's just me. I really need to set time aside for myself and focus on something greater than school or dance or anything but the One who is watching over me. I really need Him right now and I thank all those who have prayed for me because it is getting difficult to live life with all these burdens and things just piling up everyday. This coming week I have to be in school till night time so it's going to be hard trying to finish a lot of things but I hope that I'll get it finish and things will go well although it's a pretty tight schedule that I have with no ride home but public transportation at night.....(kind of scary) Oh well it's life.....I guess now...more homework.

but before I go I want to post these Lyrics up...I love this song and whenever i just feel tired and want to give up I listen to this. You've probably heard of this song...it's really good.

Bebo Norman - Nothing Without You
From the album Try

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Chorus:
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all the strength I can find

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
I have nothing

Take my time here on earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing without You

hmm it's Friday and only one more week to go till things start speeding up....anyways I have homework and studying for the weekend plus chores and I have to go shopping for dance class which I don't mind. I just finished Orchestra well I finished like an hour ago but I just got home...anyways I'm starving and the movie on channel 8 is on so I'm going to go eat and watch it.
Bye Bye

this is one I colored on my computer then I have one that I colored by hand.. I think it's cute.

So school has been okay lately nothing new going on...but it had started to rain today and I didn't have an umbrella with me unfortunately so I had to wait for my mom to come pick me up from school....anyways I'm coloring right now and studying. So yeah...not much I want to talk about right now.
Bye Bye

I Love the way the kids jumped around
with nice balloon hats
and little trinkets they made in their hands.
I liked the way they weren't afraid to show off their skills.
I liked how they moved smoothly with pride.
I liked the smiles on their faces when they see us happy.

that was a little something about Spring Festival..I would have more but i think it's just right when I leave it as that. Anyways I had a great time in church today especially dancing because it's something that I'm loving to do. So I hope that many kids signed up for daycamp and hopefully I'll be able to work with many of them. Also Great Job to all those who worked on the other crafts they were really neat and really nice!

so now another poem for my world lit class..I just thought that I should post it up here also because I really like it.

What do I see?
Written by Wendy Lee

I think of sweet juicy peaces in the summer
and a symphony of flutes on a warm sunny day at the beach.
I know the joy and laughter of a new mother and her baby.
I can see the neighbor's dog at my front porch.
I'm delighted about the diploma I receive once I graduate.
I know the blush red young girls that chatter away on weekends.
I can feel that you've been longing to go on vacation since last year.
I'm scared about the new bride waiting for the night to past.
I understand the beautiful translucent lakes that reflect snowy white mountains.
I fly with the brown spotted horses on an empty field of colorful green grass.
I jump at the chance to receive my first kiss with the one I love.
And all this I see in the rose quartz,
that I had picked up on my way to his house.

I know the heart beat of a little young butterfly.
I can see yummy scented candy store around the corner.
I’m delighted about visiting the familiar florist every Sunday morning before lunch.
I know my collections of books on my shelves are waiting to be touched again.
I can feel hope and the many new blessings coming from God.
I’m scared for our Earth and everything that’s happening to it.
I understand the reason for shouts when a baby first walks by herself.
I fly with the pretty green birds in the forests of South America.
I jump when I hear music that I like.
And all this I see in the rose quartz,
That I had picked up on my way to his house.

All this I saw in the mineral,
But it gave my life some meaning.