Let this go
Written by Wendy Lee

I am going to let this go
As this new year comes
I am going to let this go
For all the hurt it brings
I am going to let this go
because it's so sad
I am going to let this go
or else something will go bad
I am going to let this go
to relieve me of my past
I am going to let this go
In hope of a new future
I am going to let this go
to forget all that has pass
I am going to let this go
to find a new wonder
I am going to let this go
in search of a new love
I am going to let this go
Because it's for my own good
I am going to let this go
so then you can have what you want
I am going to let this go
so then you can be happy
I am going to let this go
and then you will be happy.
I am going to let this go
and then you'll see
that once I'm gone
you would've wish that I have never let it go

I won't be writing in here for a while because this poem above is just what I need to do. So hopefully you guys can enjoy all that I have here and hopefully after things become better I will begin writing again.

Loving You Is All I Know-The Pretenders

I don't understand how the sun keeps on shining,
And I don't understand why the seasons change,
And I don't have a clue,
What makes the rivers flow,
Loving You is All I know,

I cant tell you why stars come out in the evening,
And I cant tell you where they go when there gone,
And I don't have a clue,
What makes a flower grow,
Loving You is All I know,

Chorus:
I don't know how the world keeps on spinning around,
I don't know why the sky don't come falling down,
I just know that I would die without your touch,
I don't know why the tide,
has to reach the shore,
I just know that I'll need you for, forever more,
Knowing that I guess I know it now,

I cant really say if there is a heaven,
but I feel like it's here when I feel you near me baby,
if angels are real,
They must know how I feel,
Cuz' Loving You Is All I Know

Chorus

I don't understand how the sun keeps on shining,
And I don't understand why the seasons change,
And I don't have a clue,
What makes the rivers flow,
Loving You is All I know,
Loving You is All I know.

"My Darling,
One year has passed since I sat with your father in the kitchen. It is late at night and though the words are coming hard to me, I can't escape the feeling that it's time that I finally answered your question.
Of course I forgive you. I forgive you now, and I forgave you the moment I read your letter. In my heart, I had no other choice. Leaving you once was hard enough;to have done it a second time would have been impossible. I loved you too much to have let you go again. Though I'm still breathing over what might have been, I find myself thankful that you came into my life for even a short period of time. In the beginning, I'd assumed that we were somehow brought together to help you through your time of grief. Yet now, one year later, I've come to believe that it was the other way around.
Ironically, I am in the same position you were, the first time we met. As I write, I am struggling with the ghost of someone I loved and lost. I now understand more fully the difficulties you were going through and I realize how painful it must have been for you to move on. Sometimes my grief is overwhelming, and even though I understand that we will never see each other again, there is a part of me that wants to hold you on to you forever. It would be easy for me to do that because loving someone else might diminish my memories of you. Yet, this is the paradox: even though I miss you greatly, it's because of you that I don't dread the future. Because you were able to fall in love with me, you have given me hope, my darling. You taught me that it's possible to move forward in life, no matter how terrible your grief. And in your own way, you've made me believe that true love cannot be denied.
Right now, I don't think I'm ready, but this is my choice. Do not blame yourself. Because of you, I am hopeful that there will come a day when my sadness is replaced by something beautiful. Because of you, I have the strength to go on.
I don't know if spirits do indeed roam the world, but even if they do, I will sense your presence everywhere. When I listen to the ocean, it will be your whispers; when I see a dazzling sunset, it will be your image in the sky. You are not gone forever, no matter who comes into my life. You are standing with God, alongside my soul, helping to guide me toward a future that I cannot predict.
This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories that I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go.

I love you,
T"

"Dear Theresa,
Can you forgive me?
In a world that I seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore. You, my darling, are the wind that I did not anticipate, the wind that has gusted more strongly than I ever imagined possible. You are my destiny.
I was wrong, so wrong, to ignore what was so obvious, and I beg your forgiveness. Like a cautious traveler, I tried to protect myself from the wind and lost my soul instead. I was a fool to ignore my destiny, but even fools have feeling, and I've come to realize that you are the most important thing that I have in this world.
I know that I am not perfect. I've made more mistakes in the past few months, than some make in a lifetime. I was wrong to have acted as I did when I found the letters, just as I was wrong to hide the truth about what I was going through with respect to my past. When I chased you as you drove down the street, and again as I watched you from the airport, I knew I should have tried harder to stop you. But most of all, I was wrong to deny what was obvious in my heart: that I cannot go on without you.
You were right about everything. When we sat in my kitchen, I tried to deny the things you were saying, ever though I knew they were true. Like a man who only gazes backwards on a trip across the country, I ignored what lay ahead. I missed the beauty of a coming sunrise, the wonder of anticipation that makes life worthwhile. It was wrong of me to do that, a product of my confusion, and I wish I had come to understand that sooner.
Now, though, with my gaze fixed toward the future, I see your face and hear your voice, certain that this is the path that I must follow. It is my deepest wish that you give me one more chance. As might have guessed , I'm hoping that this bottle will work its magic , as it did once before, and somehow bring us back together.
For the first few days after you left, I wanted to believe that I could go on as I always had. But I couldn't. Everytime I watched the sun go down, I thought of you. Everytime I walked by the phone, I yearned to call. Even when I went sailing, I could only think of you and the wonderful times we had. I knew in my heart that my life would never be the same again. I wanted you back, more than I imagined possible, yet whenever I conjured you up, I kept hearing your words in our last conversation. No matter how much I love you, I knew it wasn't going to be possible unless we-both of us-were sure I would devote myself fully to the path that lay ahead. I continued to be troubled by these thoughts until late last night when the answer finally came to me. Hopefully, after I tell you about it, it will mean as much to you as it did to me:
In my dream, I saw myself on the beach with Catherine, in the same spot I took you after our lunch at Hanks. It was bright in the sun, the rays reflecting brilliantly off the sand . As we walked along side each other, she listened intently as I told her about you, about us, about the wonderful times we shared. Finally, after some hesitation, I admitted that I loved you, but that I felt guilty about it. She said nothing right away but simply kept walking until she finally turned to me and asked, "Why?"
"Because of you."
Upon hearing my answer she smiled at me with patient amusement, the way she used to before she died. " Oh , Garret," she finally said as she gently touched my face, who do you think it was that brought the bottle to her?
When I woke, I felt empty and alone. The dream did not comfort me. Rather, it made me ache inside because of what I had done to us, and I began to cry. When I finally pulled myself together, I knew what had to do. With shaking hand, I wrote two letters the one you're holding in your hand right now and one to Catherine, in which I finally said my goodbye. Today, I'm taking Happenstance out to send it to her, as I have with all the others. It will be my last letter--Catherine, in her own way, has told me to go on, and I have chosen to listen. Not only to her words, but also to the learnings of my heart that led me back to you. Oh, Theresa, I am sorry, so very sorry, that I ever hurt you. I am coming to Boston next week, with the hope that you find a way to forgive me. Maybe I'm too late now. I don't know.
Theresa I love you and always will. I am tired of being alone. I see children crying and laughing as they play in the sand, and I realize that I want to have children with you. I want to watch as he grows into a man. I want to hold your hand and see you cry when he finally takes a bride, I want to kiss you when his dreams come true. I will move to Boston if you ask because I cannot go on this way. I am sick and sad without you. As I sit here in the kitchen, I am praying that you will let me come back to you, this time forever.

Garret"
- From Message in a Bottle pgs 359-363

I Can't See....
By Wendy Lee

It's not that I am blind...
It's not like I cannot feel...
I just can't see what you are
Maybe sometimes it's like I am blind
and I can't feel
but how can you tell.
How do you tell when something is gone
if you cannot see
and you cannot feel anything.
In reality I will always see
I can always feel.
Do I want to see?
Do I want to feel?
Is this just a dream?
Or is this something that is real?
I can see the the feeling deep in you
you are hiding them so badly
you are so hurt
or is it just me pretending to be you
is it just me telling you how I feel
and what I see?
How did I ever get into this situation?
Have you ever been in this before..............

My winter break has finally started yesterday and there isn't much to do at this point. As I came home yesterday with my backpack full of Christmas cards and presents, I realized how blessed I am because most of time in school I don't really hanging out with anyone but they are some what considered my friends. When I gave out my gifts and cards to other people I expected not to get anything back from them because I told them not to give me anything and that it didn't matter but they cared. I was surprised that they cared because it was so difficult for me accept. For the past three years at the school I have never felt the joy and happiness that my friends gave me. It was really nice to end school like that and for my friends you all know who you are I really thank you for all you have done for me although I just realized that you are really my friends.
I finally finished Chapter 1 of my book. I'm so happy!! I think that this story is really the start of everything. I have never really written anything like it and it's really wonderful I wish that I could post it on here but I'm afraid that others will steal so I'm sorry but if you want to read it you may ask me and I would be glad to let you read it. I want to see this but if Christmas day comes on rainy and cloudy there's no chance. There's nothing much to say but that's it
~Bye Bye~

My Christmas Wish List
1) Books by Nicholas Sparks exclude The Guardian, Message in a Bottle, and The Notebook.
2) A big bookcase
3) A jacket (that will keep me very warm)
4) Learn how to ride a horse!!
5) A pet (like a hamster or something)
6) A digital camera
7) good grades for the semester report card
and that is about it......There isn't much that I want for Christmas and plus I have already received the greatest gift of all.