I feel really sad..............................................I don't know what's wrong i just feel really sad. I really feel like jumping out my window though I know that it wouldn't do anything and I won't die. I really want to catch the meteor shower monday night but i have no one to go with. With everything that has happened in the past I am afraid to go out by myself. AHH I am so sad. I think i've made my point.


Rose Dreams(Dreamer)

I was looking for the right words to say
as my own heart strays away.
Trying to seek you
in every way that I can
but I know that you are very well a wise man.
So I took my steps carefully
and lead you literally into my rose dream
but everytime it aches, it screams.
I am flying towards the sunset
where my flowery dream comes true
and while you are standing there
I took a petal and gave you half
while I took the other into my hands.
Then as I walked towards the sky
I saw a clear image of us together and
it was pure glowing lights.
My rose, which had died the year earlier,
had lite up instantly before my eyes.
It was then at that moment that I had knew
I was in love.
It was at that exact hour that I had found my
one and only person of which
I have decided to spend my life with forever.

AHH I was suppose to go to the church picnic today and I have no idea what happened. I was looking forward to going this year and spending some time with my friends. Ugh anyways school was over on thursday and we had a ceremony/celebration thing at UCSF from 6:00 to 8:00 P.M. It was fun and I will surely miss all of my T.A.s and teacher. On Friday I really wanted to spend my time with daycamp but I was scheduled to go ice-skating with my class. I had lots of fun. It was great and I didn't fall.. Wee......anyways it was a blast and I can't believe that after 2 years I conquered my fear of ice-skating. It wasn't as cold as the first time I went but then again I did fall many time on the ice. So yeah I liked my writing class. I wrote a persuasive essay on the last week and here it is below. You can read it if you want but you don't have to. I just like posting my work here. So that's it. I hope that every had fun that went on the church picnic.
~Bye Bye~

Book Banning
by Wendy Lee

Banning books from the public has saddened many of the world’s readers. Banning books such as the Harry Potter series, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl is wrong and sets boundaries on the readers of today. Many of the books being banned today are “non-peaceful,” and the banners are trying to make the environment safer for their children and the future by banning these books. However, by restricting us to safe and boring books, banners are actually making sure that we don’t think of other possibilities, that we don’t think of the abnormal, that we are not exposed to our own imaginary thoughts. Book banning violates our first amendment right of freedom of speech by not allowing us to choose what we want to read. Books have taught me a lot – they have changed me into a better person - they would expand our world if many people could read them. We as human beings on Earth have learned a lot from reading and to take books away from us would take away our usage of inner deep or 'out of the box,’ thinking.

One of the many books that people are fighting to be banned are the Harry Potter Series. Christian writer, Berit Kjos notes that children are more vulnerable to fantasy stories such as Harry Potter because they may view the imaginary world as much more fun compared to the real world. That may be true in some cases but children are children and no one can stop that no matter what. They have minds like a child and they need to be one until they are ready to give it all up in exchange for a teenage life. In an essay written by Zack H from Stafford, VA says, “ Children cannot be sheltered from the world simply by being kept from reading about it. Profanity, violence, racism, and sex are all parts of the world we live in.” That is exactly what I am saying. “ Our world is sometimes a shameful place, and the first step is overcoming the world’s shamefulness is to educate ourselves about it’s immoralities." He is right and I know that he is saying that our world is full of mistakes and wrongful doings but if you want to reduce those things then you have to learn about them and be very knowledgeable about it in order to take tiny steps and be better.

I have read a book called Of Mice and Men and it is an extraordinary book. I know that in many places the book is banned but only for it’s word contents. Besides the bad language, there are wonderful vocabulary words in there. I read the book and knew the story but what I really loved was I learned more about writing structures. John Steinbeck the author of the amazing book had really used a lot of strategies that made me believe I was actually there seeing everything before my eyes. It was on the list of the most frequently challenged books of 1990-2000. The Giver, also a wonderful book was on the same list but I don’t understand why people would want to ban it. It clearly described another world where everything was organized and there were no choices. It gave me an understanding of how thankful I should be of my world. It took me to another dimension where I wouldn’t have to worry about anything but everything was arranged for me. It seems to me that most of the books on the list are banned on account of the content of sex or sexual language, description, or information. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury clearly shows a good example of what happens to people when they are not revealed to certain books but in this case all books. Montage, the main character, realizes his inner feelings and compares himself with the outer world. He recognizes the importance of books of many genres, thick or thin, bad or good. He saw them as a way to fix mistakes, to find solutions to problems without repeating history. Though not every book is banned in our world today, taking away one is like removing an idea that we can expand into numerous new theories or opinions.

You might say that by presenting every book to the world, it might lead to many problems and insecurity because everyone has the freedom to have thoughts but that’s the beauty of our world. Everyone should have a saying in all things that they’re involved in. You might think that violence will arise and obstacles will threaten people’s lives and they would live in fear and disappointment but books only lead to wonders of one’s own mind. There is a difference between fiction and nonfiction and when people understand the differences and the variance between wrong and right, they would know what to do. Banning books has not changed anything. An individual learns by what she or he sees and hears. At the same time, the person also knows what is wrong and right so if they know, then we don’t have to worry about them reading the book, for they wouldn’t be influenced by it. Restraining humans to particular things causes a dull world that doesn’t put their minds into work. It leaves them empty of feelings. Books with topics like sex in them shouldn’t be banned from the public because one day this issue will be exposed to people anyway. Some say that they are pro on banning books because it teaches children about peer pressure, thinking for themselves, talking animals, animals that smoke, or it may be racist and or sexist, etc. I don’t think that talking animals has anything to do with a person’s mind. People/children should be able to think for themselves and if you can’t, then you have no freedom of speech. We all know that racism/sexism is wrong and there is no doubt about it, therefore what people read will not influence them to be a certain way.

I am against banning books because first of all it limits the people in the world to only the way that it is real. Secondly, it’s hiding great pieces of writing from those who want to learn, and finally the world we live in would be one of misery because no one would think about the unattainable. Everyone needs to give it a chance and live a little because books are an issue in the world. Many people say that our children are not reading enough but you won’t allow them to read what they love to read. Banning books won’t solve anything and most of the reasons for banning books are not a big issue. Many of the issues will be exposed to most of them somewhere along the line. So why ban books when books are part of everyone’s life and a great tool? I say that we should let everyone read whatever he or she wants and make the world a little more educated. Banning books is wasting and destroying minds.

Hey I'm at school right now and there's nothing o do. I finally finished my persuasive essay and got an exccellent response for it. I am sp proud of myseslf hehe. Anyways i'm going home today because daycamp is going ice-skating but then i'll be going with my class this coming friday. That's all i have to say right now but I don't have internet at home for this week. My dad took it somewhere to clean it up and it's so frustrating. Anyways
~Bye Bye~

Sometimes it's not right
or wrong in any way
but to put in it all in words
is a hard thing to say
I can't help but notice
that my life has deeply changed
and no one really cares anymore
about me but they really ignore
the fact that I am so unhappy
about the way things are going in life
though I cannot alter anything
nor do I wish to
This is the way my life will be
Till the very end and after
I am gone no one will really know
it'll be as if I was on a t.v. show
acting everything out but always having many doubts
Life is full of the unexpected
but I wish I could be respected
not rejected, but protected in all I do
to fulfill my needs
and succeed.

School was okay today I guess but I have a field trip tomorrow to the Zeum and then it's my group's turn to do debates but I am all ready I think. I don't really know but I know everything that I am saying. So i think i'm exciting but I don't really know. Oh wells I was really scared while walking because some guys was talking to me saying some stuff and I thought he was going to kidnap me or something. I walked so fast that now my legs are sore. Luckily nothing happened though. nothing else to say but too many people(mostly boys/guys, you know) are following or stalking or whatever you want to call it, me these days. I don't what to do. I am so scared.
~Bye Bye~

Today I just went school and later just went home. Nothing happened but in school we did research and summed up our debates. I hope that I don't have to speak. I am terrible at it and well you get the idea. So then I almost got hit by a car today but then it was like I wanted to car to hit me. I don't know why but I've been feeling really bad lately and it's terrible. I started cutting myself again. I am so stupid.
~Bye Bye~

school had been going great and I love it. We are doing research for a debate this week and writing next year but so far I really like this class. After school I still go to daycamp after school to help out. It's great. I guess that's it and there is nothing else to say.
~Bye Bye~

School was absolutely fun today. We didn't do it in a classroom though, we went to Fort Miley to go on a Ropes Course and I feel bad for not completeing any of them. Anyways it was fun though but I really feel like going back and just finishing what I had started just to get it over with. So that's it, nothing else. My hands are burning red and it hurts. Man I don't know if I'll be ever able to hold ropes ever again. I never knew that just holding them for a little while could cause so much agony and pain. So nothing else to say. I have no homework.
~Bye Bye~

Today was on okay day. Nothing really happened but yeah. Umm....I got good and bad feedback from my teacher and it was good since it was from her. Now I just have homeowrk for today and that's it but i'm not sure if I'll have some for Friday though. I hope not. But I'm sure I don't have tomorrow since I done it today. Alright so I don't have home homework tomorrow no big deal right. Anyways everyone knows that I like homework. So then after school I went over to daycamp and see if I can get there before everyone left but they left 15 mins or so after I came. Ahh I had to walk around chinatown doing nothing but then I went to visit my grandma and then I went to the library to get started on my rewrite. Luckily I had typed it all up and I only need to erase what I don't need and type in the corrected things. So yeah that's about it .
~Bye Bye~

Make It Easy On Yourself
Dionne Warwick

Make It Easy On Yourself
Oh, breaking up is so very hard to do

If you really love him
And there's nothing I can do
Don't try to spare my feelings
Just tell me that we're through

And make it easy on yourself
Make it easy on yourself
'Cause breaking up is so very hard to do

And if the way I hold him
Can't compare to his caress
No words of consolation
Will make me miss you less

My darling, if this is goodbye
I just know I'm gonna cry
So run to him
Before you start crying too

And make it easy on yourself
Make it easy on yourself
'Cause breaking up is so very hard to do

Oh, baby, it's so hard to do

Today was great. I didn't get to writing my story at school but I had some time to work at it while I was at daycamp. I actually had a chance to work on it three times. So then yeah it's perfected I guess but it's still due tomorrow and one of my teachers will eventually have to talk to me. nothing else. Umm...I stopped by daycamp after I had school and it seems fun and I wish I could do both at the same time so I wouldn't miss any fun but I can't. At least I'll be going to the last two weeks though. It something at least. I guess that's it.
~Bye Bye~

Today was the first day of school. Went great and I actually like it. I guess I had had another feeling about it but it all turns out to be great. Today we just sort of got to know everyone and our surroundings. We also did a little activity to get our brains working and it was ok but in the end all I really wanted to do was write. I wanted to write so bad and it was just like right after I had finished with my outline I scurried to think of adjectives to start writing. In my mind I think of an outline in a different way. I hope my teacher can see that because I don't want to have her look at it and then say it's all wrong. I didn't add any details on there because in my head I can write the story/whatever I am writing, better, if I leave all the details and just add them in later as I write the story or whatever I am writing. In many writer's cases it does not work that way. If I had put all the details on my outline I'd feel as if I were just to copy my outline and put in into proper paragraphs and sentences. So I just hope that I wouldn't mess up on my first homework assignment.
~Bye Bye~

Church was great today though I spend a lot of time by myself. I helped out with some daycamp stuff and it was great and it took my mind off of some things. Speaking of taking my mind of things I always seem to do it at the wrong time or something. Like I would want to forget something but then at the same times I am suppose to remember something so it's kind of good and bad fo me. when I want to take stuff off my mind I kind of just forget everything. hehe. so yeah. that's it.
~Bye Bye~

Today was very cold and I didn't do much. Sometimes just by sitting in my roomor in just any room somewhere in my home it makes me wonder and think about certain things a lot and it did not feel good at all. After a long time of sitting down on my comfy bed, I decided to pull out Diane's yearbook of my elementary school of when I was in fourth grade and it brought back so many memoriesit had almost made me cry. But then again I looked at the good side of it and everything that I have now that I would not have had when I was living in LasVegas and would never have. It's a blessing from God and it reminded me so much and the things that He does so greatly and the reasons that He does them at. It awsome just to sit there and admire my four great but at times sad moment with some of the greatest people who had brought me to where I am at today. I wish that they couldknow about me now and how I am doing despite the fact that we are far away from each other. Somehow and someday I hope to find them all again.
~Bye Bye~

So it's Fourth of July and I didn't do much today except go visit my grandma. She's better now I guess but the medicine doesn't work anymore for her pain. So I hope she can find a way to relieve it. So......there's not much to say but I start my summer CUBS program on Monday and it seems like it's going to be at Evertte Middle School. Speaking of Everette, I was trying to get there yesterday to kind of get a sense of how long it'll take me to go there and back and I got lost. It was not fun I had no idea where I was and I hope I won't get lost again while I attend school there. Hopefully everything will be good.
Happy 4th of July everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
~Bye Bye~

Eh I haven't written in here for a while and I'm sorry but it's not that I have nothing to write about because I have lots but it's not worth telling people. They are sacred secretes that are sometimes mere memories but they still count for something. I haven't done much during the time I wan't blogging but there were some sorrowful moments in life that cannot be told to anyone but your best friends. So yeah it's really nice to be able to have people that I can talk to instead of keeping everything inside of me. It's nice to be able to let God know too. I have been spending so much time just talking to Him. It relieves me so much. I have never ever been so sad before and it's almost like I'm depressed but I'm not. So I'm always constantly trying to find something to do. And one other thing when I am sad I always tend to eat a lot and I hate it. Especially if my mom isn't going to let me go out and run for an hour or two. So it's just all simply a problem that's one of my goals for the summer and speaking of summer I have a list of my goals for the summer on the left near the bottom I think so check it out. And that's it I guess. I hope I will recover from everything and hopeefully I can be happy.
~Bye Bye~